Unlike the previous page,
this one got a pretty major facelift. Simon's pose and placement in the original was incredibly boring and static, plus having his left foot stomping on L'arc's head there in the panel below him was a REALLY bad layout decision. Also, his legs weren't CONFUSINGLY SEXY enough in the original, which is a running gag I never get tired of. He is totally workin' it now
- The most egregious problem with the original was the fact that I CUT OFF THE TEXT IN THE FIRST PANEL. What the HELL, man. I still can't believe I let that slide hahaha
- Having the action lines extend to the edge of the page is much more visually striking than what I had going on in the original. I played around with full-page bleeds with a fair few of the new pages, to what i think are very nice results
- Changing Simon's facial expression in the third panel helps sell that line of his there. Plus, it was bad form to have both him and L'arc delivering lines without their mouths open. That's something that I try to avoid whenever I can (that said, I liked L'arc's expression enough to keep it the way it was. i am such a hypocrite ughghg)
- The linework in these early pages was pretty rough, but it was an especially huge mess in the fourth panel there; way too many conflicting textures and shadows. It was supposed to look dramatic, but just looked sloppy instead. Some screentone would've totally sufficed, which is what I did in the revised page.
- Also, I went ahead and darkened the screentone in the last panel to draw more attention to the most important thing in the book, which of course is Kamina in a trash can-previous--next-